


Humiliation Sucks

by ugh_sigh (orphan_account)



Series: 30 Day Hetalia Otp Challenge [2]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Day 1, M/M, RusAme, challenge, i stayed up until 1 am fishing this omg help, little mention of england but eh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-30
Updated: 2015-11-30
Packaged: 2018-05-04 03:57:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5319542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/ugh_sigh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ivan and Matthew don’t always team up, but when they do, they can be two sneaky sons of bitches. Also, make sure you never, ever mess with a tired Canadian.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Humiliation Sucks

**Author's Note:**

> Day1of the challenge and i finished it a dAY BEFORE OMG! AND AT 12:28 AM AT THAT

Day 1 - First Date

Otp 2 - RusAme

 

"I really should have said no to this," Alfred stated to him brother. "I didn't even think this was a good idea! Ugh, dude, what the hell."

"Maybe you can make up an excuse," Matthew responded in monotone. He was clearly done with Alfred's whining and complaining, but sadly, he was stuck with him for at least the next few hours. He sighed as he realized that he shouldn't have chosen to sit in the cubicle right next to his. "I mean, it is pretty easy to say your sick or something."

"I can't do that! Are you kidding me? What if he offers to come over and take care of me?" he shook his head.

"Just act sick," he sighed again. "I'm going to go get some more papers, so I'll be right back," he decided to make an excuse. He really didn't want to deal with his brother's complaining right now. I mean, he's been going at it for the past few days.

Alfred made a whining noise and sat back in his seat. He slouched down on his small office chair and took out his phone from his pocket. Maybe Matthew was right, he thought. I'll just say I'm sick. It's not like Ivan’ll actually want to take care of me, right? Yeah.

He tapped on the contacts icon and scrolled down to Ivan's number. "I... can't go... out with you... tomorrow... I am... sick," he mumbled as he typed.

He smiled to himself and put his phone on his desk. He turned back to his computer screen, quickly closing out Facebook as a co-worker walked past him. He opened up the Excel tab and continued his work.

* * *

"Hey, you can just set your stuff over there," Alfred said to him brother, who was staying in his apartment for a few days. His house was getting redone and the builders suggested that he find some place to stay, due to a small mishap thanks to a certain Dane. Sure, he was a bit angry about it, but he had plenty of places to stay, so he didn't make too big of a scene. But, then again, why did he choose Alfred?

"Thanks," he replied.

"No problem, bro," he smiled and walked into the kitchen, which wasn't too far away. It was a small apartment after all. "So... want some leftover pizza?"

Matthew looked at Alfred with a mix of annoyance and amusement. "No thanks, I'm not hungry."

"Suit yourself!" he said, a bit too excited. He shoved a slice of cold pizza in his microwave and set it to one minute.

"Isn't dinner time in an hour?"

Alfred laughed. "Aw, you still follow the time scheduled from dad and papa?"

"Oh shut up, Al."

He snickered as the microwave beeped loudly. He took out the pizza and walked towards his room. "I'll be in my room if ya need me, 'kay?"

"Got it," Matthew nodded.

Alfred smiled at his brother. When he walked into his bedroom and closed the door, he changed his clothes into his lazy weekend clothes. It was Friday evening, so why not start it early? He slumped down on his dirty floor, pizza in his mouth, and turned on his TV, picking up the Super Nintendo remote to play some Super Mario. It was one of his favorite games. Well, out of the sixty-eight he had.

"Jump! Run, run, run! Oh wait, I forgot the mushroom," he narrated what he was doing. Although he hadn't played the game in a while, he was still smiling and smirking through it, determined. He sung along with the tone of the theme songs, moved the remote with ever move. Hell, he himself jumped up when the little pixels of a man jumped.

He shouted with joy when he finally beat Bowser in the third world. He burst out of his room and began to run around, chanting his name.

"Alfred? What the-?" Matthew mumbled looking shocked, laying on the couch.

"I finally beat that stupid turtle dragon thing, eeeyyyyy!!!" he yelled with excitement.

"Al, for the love of God it is one a.m.," he exclaimed.

Alfred laughed. "I know! I'm exhausted!"

"Go. To. Sleep.," Matthew intimated. He was not the kind of person that liked to be woken up. Alfred knew this, but he in no way actually cared enough to consider it.

"You're just jelly because I beat the ultimate boss! Oh yeah!"

Matthew needed to change the subject, knowing that he could go on about this for hours. "So what did Ivan say about the whole date thing?"

There was a long pause before Alfred's face went from pure enjoyment to all out confusion. "I... Oh my god, I left my phone at the office."

Matthew let out the loudest groan Alfred has ever heard from him. And trust me, with the amount of arguing and messing around these two do together, Alfred has heard plenty of annoyed, disappointing, all those kinds of groans.

"Woah! Chill, bro! I'm sure he just said okay to it, it's fine. He wouldn't want me out and about while sick. It's totally fine!"

Alfred's care-free state of mind was starting to bug the tired Canadian. "Okay, great!" he said with high amounts of sarcasm. "So you can let me sleep now?"

"Ha! Got it. Goodnight, Mattie!" Alfred ran back to his bedroom before Matthew could respond. Which, to be honest, wasn't that bad of a thing considering he would have gotten some sort of witty remark.

Alfred closed his door and jumped into bed. "Geez, remind me never to mess with tired Canadians," he said to himself before closing his eyes and going to sleep.

* * *

The next morning, Alfred was woken up with a knock at the door. He groaned and yelled, "Mattie, get the door." After a few seconds of no response, he heard another knock on the door. He let out a long "Uuuuh," sound and lazily got out of bed, dragging his feet as he walked to the door. He looked over to the couch to find that Matthew left a note saying:

"Went to get groceries, brb."

He grunted to the note, Matthew treated him like a mother any time he visited, and continued to the door. It's probably Matthew forgetting the keys or something.

"Com on i-" Alfred cut himself short, noticing that the man at his door was not Matthew, but in fact Ivan standing in front of him. His eyes widened and wandered around his apartment before letting the Russian in. He didn't want any trace of himself not being sick. "Uh," Alfred fake coughed and squeezed his throat to make it sound like he had a cough. "Wh-what rings you here Ivan?" he was sure his smile looked too forced, but hey, he could blame it on being sick.

"Didn't you get my message?" Ivan responded. "I said I was going to come take care of you while you were sick. And then you responded with 'ok hun.,' with five winky faces and an eggplant emoji. You must be really sick."

Alfred was trying to remember if he responded or not. If he remembered right, his phone was back at the office so... Wait, he thought. April fools day, about a week ago he pulled a prank on one of his British co-workers and he said he would get him back. That damn Brit. Alfred's smile hardened, trying not to look too angry. "Oh, haha, yeah. I'm, uh, exhausted! In fact, I think you should just go and I can just sleep," he panicked. He grabbed Ivan's bag filled with stuff and walked him to the door. "I really do appreciate it. I do! But, I just need to-"

"You do know that I am going to stay no matter what, yes?" Ivan barged in. Alfred knew not to retort after that. He could basically see an aura of him wanting to get his way. Alfred's never gotten past that stage of the stubborn Russian, and he in no way plans to. Actually, that's not entirely true. He was just waiting for the right time and circumstance where he can run away as fast as he can when he does. And quite frankly, his small apartment was not the place to do it.

He stepped back and gave Ivan his bag back. Just like that, his scary aura was gone and he had on the most innocent looking smile anyone could ever see. He cupped his two palms onto Alfred's cheeks to check his temperature. Alfred started to panic again. He's not sick, so his cheeks aren't warm! Without thinking, Alfred crashed his face into Ivan's, giving him a quick peck on the lips.

Ivan's eyes widened and he backed away. "Alfred!" Alfred started to freak out again. He figured me out! He figured me out! "Are you trying to get me sick, Alfred? That's not very nice! Especially for our," Ivan's voice got softer. "first date."

And just like that, Alfred was gone. He canceled his first date for Christ's sake, and now Ivan is all coming in and chanting on about how this is their ‘first date’. What the hell is he on about?!

Ivan snickered and walked into the kitchen with his bag of stuff, which turned out to be a bunch of ingredients for soup? Alfred eyed the Russian, feeling as if something wasn’t right. Ivan might have come to take care of him, but there is no way he would want to cook for him, right?

Ivan seemed to notice his curiosity and looked at him as if he expected something. “Well,” he implied and paused when Alfred didn’t do anything. “Lay down,” he said a tad bit slower and gestured to the couch. Alfred didn’t respond and dragged his way to the couch, never taking his eyes off of Ivan.

When he finally laid all the way down, pillow, blanket and all, Ivan spoke again. “Now, you are sick so I will take care of you, yes? You will not talk-”

“Why can’t I talk?” Alfred shot up.

“No, no Alfie, lay back down,” he walked into the living room with a few steps and pushed Alfred back onto the couch.

Although he wouldn’t admit it, Alfred found it to be a bit… alluring. He didn’t just simply push him back down. He caressed his hand along his lower stomach, while his other was cupping the back of his neck. Their faces were close to each other’s and his eyes looked devious. Maybe even with a spark of flirtatious in the mix somewhere. Although Ivan’s hands were off him now, Alfred swore he could still feel his touch. But Ivan’s hands already moved from the two areas and cupped Alfred’s face again. Maybe it was because Ivan’s face was still so close to his and was a distraction. “I’m not going to let you talk because I’m the boss and you will obey me,” he spoke again, this time with a seductive, strong voice. Alfred could feel himself wanting to lean forward and kiss the Russian again. But sadly, he sprang back up. “Also because you need to get better!” and Alfred was gone, hearing the cherry, motherly voice come from his boyfriend again.

He wanted to scream and beg the Russian to do what he did before over and over again. He folded his arms over his chest and puffed up his lips like the child he was.

“Ah, ah, ah, Alfred,” Ivan started again, his voice getting softer and softer with every word. “Listen to daddy now, will you?”

That was it. Ivan was so messing with him! What kind of person taking care of a person would say these kinds of things to a patient? “Hold the fucking phone! What di-”

Ivan pushed his index finger onto Alfred’s lips. “I said no talking, Alfred,” Ivan began to put on another strange aura again. Except this time, it was different than scary and getting his way. This time it was something different. Alfred wasn’t sure if he should regret not going on a date with Ivan beforehand, because he would know what this aura was, or if he was glad to save this date until now because he finally gets to experience it. Either way, he was happy.

Wait, what was he talking about?! He was the one that tried to cancel the date! What?!

Alfred, being distracted by his thoughts, didn’t notice Ivan walking back into the kitchen and starting to make soup. As much as he wanted to talk, he resisted it, knowing that if he did, something else might happen. He began to hate his apartments layout more and more by the minute. Seriously! What apartment has a living room that you can see right into the kitchen! He ignored the small voice in his head that was stating that it was actually quite normal.

But hey, screw that small voice because Alfred didn’t want to deal with having to look at his sweet, tall, charming… beautiful… sexy… amazing-

“I finished your soup, Alfie!” Alfred was cut off from his thoughts again. Seriously? Can’t a guy be alone with his thought for ten minutes? Ironically, the more and more Alfred thought, the more annoyed he became. Due to the fact that the only thing he could think of at the moment was his suggestive boyfriend and how to hide his bulge in his pants. Speaking of Alfred’s bulge. “Here you go,” Ivan pushed the hot bowls of soup onto Alfred’s crotch. At that moment Alfred thanked God that blankets existed because if they hadn’t, this would have been more of a hell than it was already.

Ivan began to push down harder. Alfred was reaching the edge. He wanted to tell Ivan to cut the crap right then and there, but something was stopping him from doing so. Was he afraid of Ivan would continue what he was doing? No, that defeats the purpose of him telling him to stop. Maybe he… no it can’t be… Maybe he liked it? Maybe he liked this feeling of Ivan teasing him. No. Impossible.

And then, to make things worse, Ivan lightened the weight of the warm bowl from Alfred’s sensitive area and pushed down again. Repeating the action again and again and again. Alfred felt his stomach warming up more and more and the tall man continued. Nope! He thought. He was done!

“I-Ivan? Um, can you maybe-”

“I know I told you not to talk but,” Ivan paused and scooted closer to his American companion. “tell me what you want.”

At this point, Alfred decided to fuck it. He knew Ivan was up to something from the start. But there is no way in hell he isn’t taking advantage of this opportunity. Alfred lunged forward onto Ivan’s body, making him drop the soup. But the soup was long forgotten by then.

Alfred smirked and smashed their two’s lips together,caressing the inside of each other’s mouths with their tongues. Alfred could feel Ivan simper against his lips as their kiss began to get rougher and rougher. Ivan’s hands began to wander underneath his shirt, separating their hot kiss just to remove it before continuing to scavenge Ivan’s mouth for any satisfactory feeling he could get.

Ivan’s hands, after squeezing softly at Alfred’s sides, made their way to Alfred’s already tight pants. A funny thing about Ivan, however, is that he liked to take things slow and seductively. With one tug after another, Alfred was left with nothing but tight, tight boxers.

Alfred was enjoying this, oh yes he was enjoying this. But sadly, good things don't last forever, and it just so happened that Alfred was going to learn that today.

The next thing he knew Ivan pulled himself off of him and stood up, leaving Alfred to sit on the floor, staring back at him. Before Alfred had a chance to sleep, Alfred heard a knock at the door in the tune of Super Mario Bros. His heart sank, but he was too distracted with all that was going on to do anything about it.

He wasn’t prepared for what was going to happen next. Well, he would have been if it wasn’t for a certain Russian, but he was still not ready nonetheless.

As Ivan opened the door, a ton of his, his brother’s, and Ivan’s friends burst into the room, all laughing and high-fiving Ivan. The last person that walked in was Matthew holding a bright red, white, and blue cake that had “Happy First Date You Dirty Hoser.” written on it with icing.

Alfred was about to scream. Actually, scratch that, he screamed. But his scream was in no way loud enough to be heard through everyone’s cheering and laughing that was going on in his apartment. The only thing that could make this worse was if if landlord saw this. Oh wait, never mind, he was shaking hands with Ivan, laughing along with everyone else.

And as Alfred sat there on the floor, his ego gone, reputation ruined, and no more dignity left to his name, he sat there until all the cake was gone, until everyone stopped talking to him, and until everyone calmed down and it was quieter.

* * *

Later that night, Matthew approached Alfred with a smug little smile.

“Here you are, my friend,” he said handing him his phone.

“You. Little. Shit,” Alfred couldn’t help but smile. Sure he was pissed, but he couldn’t deny that his brother definitely learned a few tricks from him.

Matthew smiled and walked away, starting to clean up some of the party mess with Ivan.

Alfred opened his phone to see a conversation with Him, which was probably Matthew, and Ivan:

**Me** : i can’t go out tomorrow. i’m sick. (3:03 pm)

**Ivan** : oh, ok. next week maybe? (3:06 pm)

**Me** : Hey, this is Matthew, Alfred’s brother, remember? (9:36 am)

**Ivan** : yes, i remember you. why do you have alfred’s phone? (9:40 am)

**Me** : I have a plan to prank him. You in? (9:43 am)

**Ivan** : why would i not? (9:45 am)

**Me** : Good point. Okay, so you don’t really need to know the reason why, eh?

**Ivan** : no, not really. (9:47 am)

**Me** : Great, that means less explaining for me. Alright, so Alfred doesn’t want to go on a date with you today. (9:49 am)

**Me** : And he’s pretending to be sick. So, what I was thinking is that you can go over to his house and “take care” of him if you catch my drift. (9:50 am)

**Ivan** : first of all, i figured that was what he was doing, and second, by take care, do you mean being seductive? or?? (9:53 am)

**Me** : I was thinking more along the lines of feeding him gross food, but that’s better, so yes, that. Anyway, I’m going to get a few of our friends to come over and throw a party at his house to humiliate him and prove that he’s not actually sick. You in? (9:54 am)

**Ivan** : what if something goes wrong? (9:56 am)

**Me** : Just think of something that makes sense. So? (9:57 am)

**Ivan** : yes, i am in. i will call some of my friends now, but i am a little curious. why are you doing this again? (10:00 am)

**Me** : He woke me up. (10:01 am)


End file.
